Not tonight I'm not... I'm sick of feeling like the day went down well, only for the last hour or so to completely fall apart on me... I Hate making people afraid i'm going to hurt or lose them... Kitti and me had to go take some insurance papers by the library, and mentions a certain someone who i happened to have dated, though i regret the action now, still lives around here and goes to her Jewel to shop, and mention that to my old neighbor got her really mad at me... Why does she think that everybody is going to be out to get her in some way? Is she really that insecure about me..? I want to be married to her, but she makes me feel like i can't have any other female friends without her feeling paranoid that she doesn't fit in or going to lose me... Will being engage make her feel better? Will it make it work? I don't fucking know anymore, and i hate this feeling... I Hate making her go to sleep angry at me cause of my phone as well... It doesn't send texts when it should, makes me send blank ones, and basically fails on me when its my only way of talking to her... I feel like crying, cause no matter what i do i feel like she's pissed off at me... Why do i do? How do i make her feel better? I even have an idea of what wedding ring i'm going to get her as well... but the problem is money....
On the other side of the world, i also have 2 school classes in which i'm missing my books for, and even worse is that added to my school fucking work i need to remember my "Panera Passport" fucking entries so i'm not fired for completing it... I can't handle losing that job after finally getting the hang of things on the inside... its the second job i've ever had and i severly doubt jewel will take me back... where do i go? what do i do? I'm afraid that things are going to get really badly... i need more help than i want to ask for... somebody... anybody, please help me... even if i say no or i'm fine, insist on it... please...
Teddi...
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